The Final Stretch

I always feel very weird the final two weeks before a marathon.  There is so much uncertainty.  No matter how hard you trained, you'll always sit there and think "Did I do enough?", "Should I have done another 20+ miler run?", "Am I ready?".  The runs are shorter but oddly enough for me, they start to feel harder.  I have random aches that were never there during hard training. I feel winded during shorter runs. And all of this just helps to perpetuates my uncertainty and my mind wanders even more.  Each run I go on in those final weeks I envision the race ... whether I try to or not.  You picture your best day, you picture your worst day.. and you image what it's going to feel like.  I also find myself spending time listening to motivational speeches including my favorite from Any Given Sunday:

As well as this motivational Nike commercial ... gets me every time:

"This is not a math test, this is a completely different kind of test.  One where passion has a funny way of trumping logic." That's my favorite line...   I think that applies to the marathon in so many ways.  It's not always about how many miles you ran, how well did you eat, how many long runs did you do... All of those things are important but at the end of the day anything can happen on that day.  I really believe that training gets you to mile 20 ... Passion and determination take you the final 6 miles.

It's hard not to think about the race in the final days.  You hope that you are prepared.  No matter how hard you train, there are so many variables on that day. You hope your body is ready to go when you step on that line.  I find that the uncertainty of your fitness and the uncertainty of any new course (Boston for me this time), actually allows for some unique things to happen.  I don't worry as much about pace but I let my mind shut off, enjoy the views, and wait until the race really begins.  For marathoners, or maybe just for me, the race really doesn't begin until Mile 18-21, obviously each time I am always hoping it will start later than the previous race.  From the start of mile 1 you have so much adrenaline, so much to take in, and you know on any given day you can get to mile 18 on adrenaline.  The race really begins when you need to start digging deeper for more.  

There always comes a time in that race where I begin to struggle, I start to wonder how I am going to make it.  At that point, I start to break down the race.  I'll use an example to further describe what I mean, 5 miles to go ... translates to less than 35 minutes of running (hopefully)... let's take this in 5 minute chunks.  I break it down to a manageable piece and I focus just on that one piece.... 5 minutes of running. "You can do this". No matter how bad I feel, I can always get through 5 minutes of running.  As I get closer to the finish I continue to break down what is left.  Even though the race is getting harder, it gets easier when I break it down into smaller and smaller pieces.  This really works to get my mind to force my body to do things that it's unsure it can accomplish.  

The final miles of a marathon I wonder why I do it, it's so challenging, and at times incredibly painful ... however, undoubtedly as soon as I cross that line, I want to do another.  In the end, there really is nothing like crossing the finish line. It's the most addicting feeling.  So much pain ... but SO much reward.  I feel blessed to be able to run and for me the Marathon is my ultimate challenge. Each time, it is a completely different experience, but always leaves me coming back for more.

Yogi or Yog-not

I've never been one for Yoga. In fact, I have a thing in my head that tells me if my workout didn't include at least a 30 minute run ... then I didn't workout at all, or I think I was probably better off on the couch watching The Real Housewives or Bethenny or really anything on Bravo.  The closest I have been to being a Yogi or Rogi would be my closest full of Lululemon gear.  If it weren't for that store I'd have a lot more in savings.  I only wish I had bought stock in the company back when I looked at it at $40!  Before we move on ... Let me take you back a couple years ago when I did my first Yoga class ... Bikram Yoga.   First of all ... I thought it was an hour class, so when we came around to the 45 minute and the instructor said "We're half way there" I almost died.  It was the last class of the night so the room was hotter than hell.  I left there with a face redder than it used to be after playing Rec basketball or soccer when I was a chubby little kid.  Moments after stepping outside my throbbing headache set in from being incredibly dehydrated.  After that, Yoga and me ... well let's just say we weren't quite the best of friends as I had envisioned.

A couple weeks ago that changed for me.  My roommate and I decided to take our clumsy, "unbalanced" (in a Yoga sense), non-flexible selves to a two hour instructional ROGA class sponsored by the Reservoir Dogs (NYC Running Group). For those of you who are unfamiliar with Roga, it's Yoga for Runners.  The session flew by and I felt incredible after.  My legs were loose, and after the miles and miles I had been pounding to get ready for the Boston Marathon this was the perfect outlet.  The next day I was more sore than I had been in years.  Every muscle in my body was sore. Little muscles I didn't know existed hurt the next couple days. Simply breathing hurt.  But if you're anything like me ... you LOVE that kind of hurt.  It kicked me into this super fascination with Yoga and more specifically Roga.  I have been reading blogs, looking at RunnersWorld Articles, searching for Yoga classes near by, etc.  Since I pay for NYSC each month I figured I'd start there and see if it satiated my Roga cravings.

I went last week and wasn't incredibly impressed with the teacher.  It was a 45 minute session that left much to be desired.  I went again this week to see if there is another instructor.  Same situation except this time the room was crowded and I didn't feel as enthusiastic for more as I did after my first class. One thing I notice is that when I do anything strenuous at all I hold my breath.  I had to focus really hard on the breathing and even then I just felt light headed.  I am not giving up but now I realize this is a new challenge I would like to continue figuring out.  My next stop will be YogaWorks since it's right around the corner from my apartment.

I think what I am looking for is a place that focuses on poses that strengthen your core and flexibility and limit the "Ohms" and prayer-like movements. They start to freak me out after awhile.  Also ... please don't leave me alone in silence for too long ... I just end up stressed out and not relaxed at all.  For most people, that is a calming mechanism ... for me, you've just made me think about 9,000 things I need to do, or haven't done, or already did and missed something.  My search for the perfect Yoga studio, my own personal Zen, and distance from my old Yog-not attitude continues.  I'm looking forward to more downward facing dogs and warriors 1, 2 or 3 (is there a 4?) and whatever else comes my way in an attempt to free myself of the clumsy, non-flexible, person I have always been.  We'll call this baby steps to Zen...

Running on Empty

It's ironic that i've titled my first entry Running on Empty but I think it's an important place to start.  I am going to attempt to provide you with the (short) story of how I came to find what I call ... Running for Balance.  Growing up I was thrown into as many sports as I could handle.  My parents only hope was that something would stick.  As I got into High School "slowly" but surely I stopped Soccer and Basketball and other things to focus on Running.  My High School running experience was a great one with a strong support system and incredible coaching that I will be forever grateful.  My High School coaches (Nimphius & White) motivated me to believe I could do anything I wanted and taught me how to be dedicated to accomplishing my goals.  They also taught me how to become a strong leader to my teammates.  These skills have helped me throughout college as well as my professional career.  I firmly believe that learning dedication and commitment from my coaches in High School has built such a strong foundation for my personal and professional pursuits.  My experience in High School ultimately provided me an opportunity to continue my running career at Georgetown University on the Cross Country and Track teams.

Most of my career in High School, I barely made it over 30 miles a week.  That was quite a different story at Georgetown where I was on the slower end of the team and was immediately thrown into 60+ mile per week with some incredibly talented women.  Intimidated is an understatement.  I went there on a leap of faith knowing that without my running scholarship I would need to transfer to another school based on my family's financial situation.  I was amongst the most competitive and talented athletes I've ever met throughout those 4 years.  I spent 3-4 hours every day at practice between the running, gym, stretching, lifting weights, training room, etc.  Additionally, we traveled most weekends to compete.  I tried to find balance as best I could by distancing myself from the team outside of practice and our travels.  It was incredibly difficult to find balance ... I struggled with it constantly.

The head coach at the time was very intimidating and leveraged fear to motivate our team.  If it weren't for Juli Benson I'm not sure I would have survived all 4 years.  After struggling through injuries and failing to be motivated by fear ... the head coach created a small group we called 'Juli's Group' which happened to be similar to the land of misfit toys or the runners he was more or less done with coaching.  Juli took us under her wings and slowly built up our confidence to train and race at the level we needed to.  Under Juli's coaching, I ran the fastest I've run in my life.  I will forever be thankful that she helped get me back on my "feet" (pun intended ;) ).  Sometimes when you find yourself in a rut or unable to compete or train like you want to ... you need to find someone who inspires you to find the right reasons to dig deeper and leverage your inner motivation.  Juli did that for me. Unfortunately, Juli left Georgetown the summer before my Senior year.  She is still one of my closest friends and inspires me every day to keep on going.

Running with the Georgetown team was an incredible experience that I would never give up or change but at the end of 4 years I ended up much faster than when I started ... but drained and incredibly over trained.  I graduated in 2006 and had nearly sworn off running for about 6-9 months.  Slowly but surely I found my way back to the gym and running ... maybe it was the tight pants or small shirts ... but something got me off the couch.  First it was here and there ... then every other day ... some spinning .. random gym classes ... some more running ... until I eventually signed up for my first marathon.  Training was slow and really only about 2 months of harder training but I made it to the start line and eventually the finish line.  It was June of 2008 and I ran the San Diego Marathon in 2008 in 3:18.  It was a VERY painful run.  I remember seeing someone passed out on the side of the street around mile 22 and I actually was jealous. At that point I would have rather been passed out on the ground then have to keep on going for 4 more miles.

I always say that after your first marathon one of two things happen ... either you swear you'll never do another one or you are browsing the internet the next night looking for your next challenge.  It was definitely the latter for me.  I set my sights on New York 2009.  If you're a marathoner and you haven't run the NYC Marathon I have 2 words for you ... Do ... IT.  I can say that my first experience was probably one of my top 5 memories of my life.  There is nothing like climbing the Queensborough bridge.  It's very quite and serene ...  all you hear is breathing and foot steps as you climb up the bridge .. finally (and I mean FINALLY) you come to the top of the bridge where you get hit (literally) with a sound wave of thousands of cheers...  Unbelievable.  I had chills up and down my arms as I sped down the backside of the bridge.  I finished the 2009 NYC marathon in 3:09 hungrier than I've ever been for more.  As soon as I finished, I knew I wanted to run it again.  This time I called my coach Juli and asked her for some training help.  She gave me a 4 month plan and helped me through the training.  We talked weekly about how things were going and she helped me get through some Plantar Fasciitis issues.  I finished the 2010 NYC Marathon in 3:02 just shy of my goal to break 3:00.  Again, I crossed the line knowing I wanted this feeling again.  I set my sights on Boston 2011.  I am now in the end of my training for Boston and will run my fourth marathon on April 18, 2011.  Every time I step on the line I feel an excitement for what will come ... I plan to continue chasing that feeling.

Looking ahead I have goals to complete the 5 major marathons in the world (NYC, Boston, Chicago, London, Berlin), continue running 1/2 marathons as often as I want, some day break open the box containing my wetsuit and compete in a Triathlon, continue to brush up my biking skills, become a "Rogi" (Roga .. Yoga for Runners!), and much much more!  I've been involved in athletics as long as I can remember and I have never felt as fulfilled by competition and athletics as I do now.  I have found a balance to set goals for myself and conquer new challenges but yet still have time for all the relationships in my life, the fun in my life, and my professional career.  I feel balanced because it's what I want and I keep raising my own bar slowly but surely.  Every time I have competed throughout the last 3 years I take it just a bit more seriously ... not too seriously .. but just a bit more to keep my pallet wanting more.  For me, that has been the key... I think to myself don't push it so much that you can't keep up ... but push it enough each time to keep coming back wanting more.